 Take a moment before reading further, to time yourself and see how quickly you answer this question. What are three things you have taught your children that you never wanted them to learn? All three of my own came to me in less than five minutes... (1) That being busy online is a good way to cope with stress for which you have no other solution. (2) That watching TV is an easier way & more satisfying way to laugh & feel happy than spending time with family. (3) That you can't count on God to hold you and keep you when it all goes south. What I hate about my own list is that I don't believe any of them now. But I must have at one time or another, because I have seen my son live them. Future blog posts will be about trying to undo parenting mistakes, but today, I want to focus specifically, on the beliefs we unwittingly teach our children about God and faith. Were any of your top three about faith? Mom faith is the container that holds everything we teach our children about God and about faith. Unfortunately, it fills much more easily than it empties, and our children may spend a lifetime trying to unlearn the things we didn't mean to teach them. - Jeanine Byers The Good News about Mom Faith The good news is that it is never too late to begin teaching our children what we really want to teach. They never stop taking it in, even when they give us the message that they are no longer listening or paying attention. But what we do will continue to be far more powerful than anything we say, and the truth will be more apparent to them than it is to us. So we need to create, build and sustain the mom faith we want them to see and then, learn themselves. Instead of seeing our worry, they need to see trust. Instead of seeing our despair, they need to see hope. Instead of seeing us flounder, they need to see us know where to turn.  5 Ways to Create, Build & Sustain Mom Faith It didn't happen until I was already grown, with a son of my own, but I remember a time in my life when I counted on my mom's faith. Not to mention her connection with God. If something happened that worried or upset me, I'd tell her about it, and she'd assure me that as soon as we were off the phone, she'd pray about it. And darned if those problems didn't transform as a result! Even during times when I had temporarily lost my own faith, I knew that there was something going on, because of hers. I knew that she was connected to God, whether I was disgruntled enough to decide I didn't believe, at that time, or not. For most of my son's childhood, I wasn't able to model that kind of faith for my son. I've struggled with chronic PTSD and anxiety for most of my life, and I'm not sure I ever had that basic sense of trust that is supposed to be our first developmental milestone. Do you struggle with worry, or anxiety, or other issues that challenge your faith? Here are several things you can do to nurture your faith in spite of them... (1) Don't aim for perfection, but do aim for God: make a commitment to take every concern you have to God, no matter how small. Do you need a longer quiet time? Does what you do during your quiet time need tweaking? Plan to spend time in all the ways that help you feel safe, and that make it easier to reach for trust, instead of fear. (2) Ask for help with your unbelief: ask God to help you feel safe, to give you peace, to help you separate the truth from your own anxiety. Ask Him how to doubt your feelings. And ask Him to show you anything in your life that is getting in between the two of you. (3) Make a commitment: to give up anything that doesn't support your faith & take it right out of your life. I know you do that with your children, but what's going on with you is even more important. I'll give you an example. I know you can tell from what I wrote in the beginning of this post that I watch TV. And while grappling with my own lack of faith, I decided to give up a few of my favorite shows. I hadn't realized it, but they had an underlying message that I was taking it without realizing it - that life never works out. That no matter how hard you try, it's not going to work. I realized that I couldn't afford to let anything feed me that message, no matter how much I thought I enjoyed watching it. In one moment, I was enjoying the sense of well-being that laughter creates, and in the next, I was taking in the message that there's no point in having faith because nothing will work out for me, or anyone I care about. Are any of your favorite TV shows sending a similar message? How about the books you read? (4) Help your children separate faith from feelings. Don't let that remain unspoken because that's one they won't get by osmosis. I began to point out to my son, when he was older, that I might have gotten stressed out about something that happened, but that didn't meat that there was any reason to worry. I'd been in the habit of being glad I felt better, without even thinking about the fact that my son had probably observed my reactions to whatever the stressful event was. Also, give them plenty of chances to talk through their own feelings. But instead of just giving them suggestions, model what you do. If you say, "read this passage whenever you feel worried and pray about it," they will believe that you are speaking to them from a place of not having the same problem. Instead say, "when I feel worried, I look for a passage I think will make me feel more peaceful, and then, when I pray about it, ..." Then you might say what works. That you have found that whenever you do x, it helps. (5) Here's what to do if nothing is working for you, yet: throw everything at it but the kitchen sink. Peace can be found in the most unlikely places. For instance, I have read novels that encouraged me. But for you, it might be singing hymns (I find that so helpful), or doing yoga while you pray, or talking things over with a friend that helps you work through worries or doubts. Decades ago, when I was in therapy, I wondered if there was a ceiling on healing. Were there limits to what was possible? Some ways in which I might not be able to heal from my difficult childhood or past? Struggles I had at the time that had no solution? I was convinced that for quite a while that there wasn't much I could do. And now, I wish I could go back and tell that self to do all I could to cling to hope because it would help me to heal better and faster. What would help you cling to hope? Finding ways to hold on to your mom faith, and model trust for your children will bless you and your family for generations. I'm cheering all of us on! Love, Jeanine
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Jill not only rushed through her quiet time, she diced it and sliced it, as well, folding it into her getting-ready routine that morning, so she wouldn't be late to work. She'd hid the snooze button one too many times and was afraid she'd get in trouble if she kept sneaking in past the time she was supposed to be there. So she said a quick prayer during her shower, read a one-minute devotion while she munched on toast & then, dashed off to work, realizing that she could neither remember what she'd prayed about, nor what she'd read in the book. Was there a Bible verse? She wasn't sure. I would lose track long before counting the number of times I have experienced the rush to work that Jill did. Just to give you an example, when I worked outside the home, I often ate my toast in the car. While trying to apply makeup. But if our primary faith responsibility is to nurture a deep, loving, strong and tender connection with God - and I believe it is - how can we do that if we rush past him the way Jill did?  Is There Enough Room for God? When I first became a Christian, I remember being told to spend a lot of time reading the Bible. In fact, I was advised to read the Bible from cover to cover, and to call my friend if I had any questions. No one told me what to do with God. Or how to build a relationship with him. I remember a pastor telling me once that he knew how to preach a really good sermon, and would get an A+ if he were ever graded, but he wouldn't ever want to be tested on the quality of his relationship with God. But surely, that is the only thing that matters? I think we've got it backwards if we spend time memorizing things about God, but don't spend quality time with him. So how do we remedy that, so that we can nurture a deeper connection with him? Keep reading...  It isn't as if, in journeying forward, we move into a deeper presence of God, for the presence of God is already infinitely deep. Rather, by moving forward we become ever more deeply aware of the presence of God in our lives. - James Finley, author of Christian Meditation: Experiencing the Presence of God The Slow Faith Quiet Time As women of faith, our goal is to walk with Jesus, learning from him, growing ever closer to him, and being guided by him to create the lives he made us to create. And our quiet times will serve us best if they deepen our connection to him, so that we grow in our ability to hear his voice and be guided by him, so that we deepen our awareness of his presence, and that connection in all of the moments of our lives, and so that we shift into becoming who he made us to be. But if our quiet times are more with him than about him, and are often rushed or incomplete, none of that can happen. We need more of God's presence and more of our relationship with him, and I believe that a contemplative, slow faith quiet time can mold and shape our quiet time experience in just those ways. Slow faith is faith that is nurtured over time, and focused more on Mary's tendency to sit near Jesus and soak up his wisdom, than on Martha's tendency to run around the house getting things done for him. Since Jesus was talking, Mary was listening. And spending time in his presence. Building a deep and close friendship with him. At the center of a slow faith quiet time is time in God's company. It's a contemplative experience, getting to know God, and dwelling in his presence. Listening for his guidance and wisdom, and soaking up his presence and love for us. This way, the trust we build in him grows gradually from the experience of walking closely with him. It's an emotional connection and a relationship that deepens and grows over time. You trust those who love you not to hurt you, to be on your team, to care about what's important to you, and to help when you need it. And you come to know you can count on them over time, because of your experiences with them. The same is true in our relationship with God, but since plants don't grow if they aren't nurtured, we have to nurture our faith connection with God. The slow faith, contemplative quiet time will do that. Here's how to start one, for yourself... How to Create a Slow Faith Quiet Time (1) Give yourself an hour (at least, this first time) to hang out with God. Find a quiet place where you know you won't be disturbed. (2) Do some slow, deep breathing so that you can relax and let go of any stress or tension you may have experienced. (3) If there are things you already do that will help you relax more deeply, like meditation or yoga poses, do those, too. (4) If you aren't already becoming aware of God's presence as you sit quietly, pray for that awareness. Pray to feel his love, too. And then just spend some time marinating in his presence and his love. (5) After that time of just hanging out with God, share your thoughts, ask for guidance, and if there's a specific situation you are concerned about, talk it over. Pour out your heart about it, ask to see it from his perspective, and listen for his thoughts. (6) One contemplative exercise you can try is to imagine that you and God are watching a scene that tells the story of that problem. You both gaze at it with love, and you see if your perspective shifts, if the bringing of love and of the moment of connection with God as you think about changes the way you see it or feel about it. If not, you just send it love, and imagine that God's love envelops and transforms it. (7) Grab your journal and write down your own thoughts, and any insight or guidance you received from God. If he brought a Bible verse or a hymn or praise song to mind, write them down, too, and any thought you have about what they mean to you. This can be a natural time for reading your Bible, too, or journaling within your Bible. When you feel complete with this quiet time, bring it to a close, but ask to be aware of God's presence or your connection with him throughout the day or night. Variations on the Theme: |
| In your morning quiet times, give yourself a moment to really see God bearing your burdens. Carrying you. Sharing all of your difficult moments and helping you let go of them, yourself. He's got the whole world in his hands. You can let go now. Truth. |  |
Blessings to you, today! I'll see you next time.
Love, Jeanine
Love, Jeanine
I have found that the best time for me to have my daily, morning quiet time is right after I get up. If I try to wait until I've gotten a few things done, I forget about it and then, don't want to stop the momentum to do it.
But I am not a morning person, so that period of time right after I get up is the one Dolly Parton sang about, where I "yawn and stretch and try to come to life." Sometimes I am just not in the mood to be social, big-time introvert that I am.
So I struggle sometimes to know where and how to begin in those first few moments. And I'm finding that the devotional I want to talk to you about today, really helps me start that holy conversation and connection during those beginning "is it really morning?" moments.
Watch the video to learn a little about it...
Everyday Holy: Finding a Big God
in the Little Moments
I am really enjoying this devotional. Her style is so down to earth and relatable. And reading the devotionals gives me a jumping off point in those early morning moments.
She talks about God, and our relationship with him, in a way that makes me feel like I've had a conversation with her, and makes me want to continue the conversation with him.
I've spent a lot of time believing I should be more like this Bible teacher or more emotional like that person or hear from God in a certain way...but God has made me to be me. And he's made you to be you. If God were after only one type of relationship with one type of person, it would have been a whole lot easier to create one person and be done with it. - Melanie Shankle, Everyday Holy
5 Ways to Make this Devotional Part of Your Morning Quiet Time
(1) Connect with God's Presence - first, spend a few contemplative moments connecting with God. I promise he'll wait for you to wake up fully & be right there the whole time. :)
(2) Read the Bible Verses - I encourage you to glance at the Bible verses or passage first and go read the surrounding story in the Bible. Then, come back to the devotional.
(3) Read the Devotional in Everyday Holy - read her point of view about the Bible passage and think about how her wisdom and insight applies to your life or resonates with you.
(4) Talk to God about it - continue the conversation with God, especially about what the devotional and Bible verses mean to you, personally. Listen for what he has to say, too. And bring anything else to him that's on your heart.
(5) Write it Down - then, grab your journal and write down any insights you don't want to forget, and any messages from God you don't want to lose.
Now, that you're ready to incorporate it into your quiet time, I guess the only thing left to do is buy it.
What do you think? Is this a devotional you'd be interested in using?
See you next time!
Love, Jeanine
I thought that being faithful was about becoming someone other than who I was…I thought that it meant ignoring my own needs… I thought that it meant always trying harder… -Barbara Brown Taylor, Leaving Church
In the beginning of the book, Leaving Church, Barbara Brown Taylor tells us that she has always known God as a Divine Presence that she felt most connected to in nature.
It seemed an effortless connection, but she didn’t have words for this Presence until she began to hear people talk about God.
Because, as she said, she wanted to be close to God always, she decided to major in religion in college, and then, go to seminary. She was following God all the way into a career, and eventually, she was ordained as an Episcopal priest.
These stories are about the phase she describes as “finding herself.” Two more book sections follow, one about losing herself and the final one, about finding herself again. She says that we go through each of those stages in our lives, again and again.
In the stories about losing herself, she says a lot that I can relate to about busyness and wanting to help. But, they both led her away from her connections, both with God and with herself, as she took on more and more, and kept saying yes.
Her busyness seemed to be about trying to do enough, trying to help everyone she could. It was hard for her to let go of that in order to get the rest she needed.
I think the part I can relate to is how hard it was to let go of it, but for me, it has always been about being enough, or becoming enough, rather than doing. There seemed to be virtue on offer, just in the trying, in the busyness, itself, because of the possibility of getting there someday.
Eventually, I realized that I wasn't actually getting anywhere, except farther away from myself, and she seemed to have a similar realization.
In the final section, she describes the road back to herself and to peace, but I was left wanting to know more about where she was with God at the end. Her faith had changed along the way, had shifted, but to what?
Most of it is really great writing, but I felt like it ended in a kind of vague place. Maybe that was a reflection of an unresolved time, or a resolution still in progress.
I loved learning the story of her journey of faith, in general, though.
What do you think? Is it the kind of book that would interest you?
And can you relate to her idea of the three phases in life: finding yourself, losing yourself and finding yourself again? That could make a great slow faith journaling question, especially if you felt inspired to look for memories of those stages at work in your own faith journey.
See you tomorrow!
Love, Jeanine
It seemed an effortless connection, but she didn’t have words for this Presence until she began to hear people talk about God.
Because, as she said, she wanted to be close to God always, she decided to major in religion in college, and then, go to seminary. She was following God all the way into a career, and eventually, she was ordained as an Episcopal priest.
These stories are about the phase she describes as “finding herself.” Two more book sections follow, one about losing herself and the final one, about finding herself again. She says that we go through each of those stages in our lives, again and again.
In the stories about losing herself, she says a lot that I can relate to about busyness and wanting to help. But, they both led her away from her connections, both with God and with herself, as she took on more and more, and kept saying yes.
Her busyness seemed to be about trying to do enough, trying to help everyone she could. It was hard for her to let go of that in order to get the rest she needed.
I think the part I can relate to is how hard it was to let go of it, but for me, it has always been about being enough, or becoming enough, rather than doing. There seemed to be virtue on offer, just in the trying, in the busyness, itself, because of the possibility of getting there someday.
Eventually, I realized that I wasn't actually getting anywhere, except farther away from myself, and she seemed to have a similar realization.
In the final section, she describes the road back to herself and to peace, but I was left wanting to know more about where she was with God at the end. Her faith had changed along the way, had shifted, but to what?
Most of it is really great writing, but I felt like it ended in a kind of vague place. Maybe that was a reflection of an unresolved time, or a resolution still in progress.
I loved learning the story of her journey of faith, in general, though.
What do you think? Is it the kind of book that would interest you?
And can you relate to her idea of the three phases in life: finding yourself, losing yourself and finding yourself again? That could make a great slow faith journaling question, especially if you felt inspired to look for memories of those stages at work in your own faith journey.
See you tomorrow!
Love, Jeanine
What would it be like to have God walking with you and not know it? And is it possible that it happens to you all the time?
Microfiction: A Fictionalized, Modern
Retelling of Luke 24:13-35
We had decided to take a walk. I just couldn’t stand being in that gloomy living room with the rest of my friends for another minute.
Normally, I loved to hang out with them. They’d come over, I’d make popcorn and we’d all watch movies. I could count on them to show up a couple of hours after church each Sunday.
But today, we were just sitting there, in silence. And I couldn’t stand it.
When my best friend, Amy, suggested we go for a walk, I was so relieved, I’d have agreed to go jogging – and if you know me, that’s saying something.
We loved walking in our neighborhood, though usually under much happier circumstances. I wasn’t hoping for much from this walk, but I thought maybe it would be nice to feel the soft breeze on my face.
You see, our closest friend had just died. It was shocking to us, although she’d told us she thought something was coming.
She’d just preached a sermon last week that made us both laugh and cry, and today, someone else was standing up there in her spot. How could someone filled with so much light, be struck down in such a violent way?
As we turned the corner, onto the long side street with so many beautiful trees, just beginning to bloom with spring, Amy told me she was considering taking a break from church, because it had been so painful not to see Jessica there today.
We both had loved her from the minute we met her, and we knew they’d pick her to be our new pastor. She had a way of talking about the life of faith that made us want to keep her talking so we could have it exactly the way she described.
We’d just told her that a couple of weeks ago, that we were so grateful for the way she gave us a new and deeper understanding of God, and encouraged us in our faith. She always came over on Sundays, too, so we made her say the prayer whenever we decided against popcorn, in favor of a real meal. She was so kind, so warm and friendly, and so approachable that just being around her made your day better.
I didn’t know how I was going to manage church, without her, either.
But before I could respond, and try to talk us both into sticking with it, we saw someone walking toward us, waving. I thought maybe I’d seen her at church, but when she got up to us, she told us she’d seen us walking around the neighborhood and wanted to walk with us.
Her name was Laura, she said, and she told us she’d heard us talking one day about our church and had wanted to find out which church it was, so she could go check it out. We looked at each other, communicating silently that we’d tell her what had happened, and then began to explain how we’d just lost our pastor.
She listened as we all walked toward the park at the back part of our neighborhood, and it was so good to talk to someone who didn’t know the story. I could tell she really understood how heartbroken we were.
And even though it’s impossible to know what to say to someone in a situation like that, her empathy was perfect, and we knew we’d found another friend.
Amy never mentioned taking a break, but somehow, while those soft breezes became our companions on the way to the park, Laura got us talking about all the other reasons we loved our church, and by the time we reached the park, she not only said she was coming, but got us to agree to meet her there next Sunday. She turned to head back home, but said she was so glad she’d met us and was looking forward to seeing us next week.
We sat down at the park for a while, just hanging out, and I realized that I felt a little bit better. Talking to Laura had really helped.
I mentioned that to Amy when we began the walk back to my house and she said she felt the same way. I think we both felt relieved we’d promised to go to church next week.
I was even looking forward to seeing my friends again back at the house.
This Passage Inspired the Story Above
That very day two of them were going to a village named Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, 14 and they were talking with each other about all these things that had happened. 15 While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them. 16 But their eyes were kept from recognizing him. 17 And he said to them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. 18 Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” 19 And he said to them, “What things?” And they said to him, “Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, a man who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, 20 and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him. 21 But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things happened. 22 Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning, 23 and when they did not find his body, they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that he was alive. 24 Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but him they did not see.” 25 And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself. 28 So they drew near to the village to which they were going. He acted as if he were going farther, 29 but they urged him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent.” So he went in to stay with them. 30 When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. 31 And their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. And he vanished from their sight. 32 They said to each other, “Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?” 33 And they rose that same hour and returned to Jerusalem. And they found the eleven and those who were with them gathered together, 34 saying, “The Lord has risen indeed, and has appeared to Simon!” 35 Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he was known to them in the breaking of the bread. - ESV, BibleGateway.com
Slow faith suggestion: grab your journal & a cup of tea. Then, compare the story I wrote to the Bible verses that inspired it, thinking through the journal questions and applying them to your life. The most important question is the one below...
2 Journal Prompts for Reflection
(1) The fictional walk around the neighborhood was inspired by what happens on the road to Emmaus. I got the idea after reading the passage during a quiet time, and mentally, placing myself into the story.
Give yourself a brief meditation moment & imagine that you are one of the people on that road. What are you feeling?
Imagine having someone come alongside you who makes you feel the way you do during your prayer time with Jesus. The same, but more, because you can see this person, feel his or her energy, hear the person’s voice in response to whatever you say.
How do you think those moments of connection would feel?
Have you ever experienced a Jesus-with-skin-on moment like that before?
(2) Those two people on the road to Emmaus did not recognize Jesus because they were experiencing him in a different way than they had before. What might have made their experience of him different?
Do you think that your experience of him in spirit might be different than it would be if he were walking down the road with you in person?
How can you deepen or shift your connection with him in spirit, so that it’s closer to what what a 5-sensory ultra-magnetic, physically warm & loving connection might be like in person?
Are there times when you don't recognize his presence?
Though the story at the beginning of this post did not actually happen, I believe it could have. I believe that, as women of faith, we have moments like that all the time.
We get distracted or upset, and just when we need most to know that God is right there with us, we don't notice or recognize him.
He understands, of course, because he knows us. But he also wants us to be able to hear his voice, know his presence and connect to his love at any time. The key to doing so is spending more time just connecting.
More slow, Mary faith and less Martha busyness.
Wishing you deeper connection and the certainty of knowing he's with you always.
Love, Jeanine
It's Easter Monday and today, we're exploring a faith book about how to handle doubt as a woman of faith...
Doubt like Thomas's can be a positive thing, especially if it brings us closer to God. Doubt can help shape our faith. - Sheryl Giesbrecht Turner
I think what I love most about this book is her effort to normalize doubt, as part of the Christian experience.
I used to feel guilty about my own doubt, seeing it as a flaw and a weakness. I thought that if I were a better Christian, I would have certainty, instead.
But in the book, the author suggests that doubt can actually help us create a closer relationship with God. That it can become a passageway both to deeper trust and to certainty.
I invite you to grow comfortable with doubting.
- Sheryl Griesbrecht Turner
What about You?
In your faith tradition, how is doubt handled? And what do you believe about it?
When you experience it, how do you react?
I have always wished it away. But because I was raised in an academic, prove-it-to-me kind of family, I have often struggled with it.
The book suggests accepting it, instead, and shows you how to use it as a launching pad into a deeper faith.
So, if you also tend to be a doubting Thomas, and would rather be a faith-filled Mary or Martha, I highly recommend this wise, comforting book. I loved it the whole way through.
Below the quote, I've included part of an interview where the author talks more about the book and about dealing with doubt.
And by the way, if you like reading inspirational books, get access to my lifestyle library, where I've got an article with links to all the faith book blog posts I've written, all in one place.
My lifestyle library also includes articles about slow living, hygge at home, perfecting your morning routine & other lifestyle topics.
See you next time!
Love, Jeanine
If ours is an examined faith, we should be unafraid to doubt. If doubt is eventually justified, we were believing what clearly was not worth believing. But if doubt is answered, our faith has grown stronger. I know God more certainly and I can enjoy God more deeply. There is no believing without some doubting, and believing is all the stronger for understanding and resolving doubt. - Os Guinness
A Creative Retelling, from John 20
Jesus: Mary
Mary: Rabbi, it's you! Oh, thank God. (she hugs him)
Jesus: Listen, I can't stay. I'm only here for a moment.
Mary: You can't stay?
Jesus: No, I just wanted you to see me before I left, and know that I'm okay. And I want you to tell the others.
Mary: What do you mean before you left? Where are you going?
Jesus: I'm going to go be with God. Tell them all I'll be with the Father. Your God, the one you already know.
Mary: But you came back.
Jesus: For just a moment. I have to go, but I will be with you all in spirit.
The Grief and the Glory
I often think of Easter in songs.
There's Keith Green's lyrics - "it is finished. He has done it. Life conquered death. Jesus Christ has won it."
But there's also Bryan Duncan's song - "Please know that I love you. I'll stay by your side. If only now in spirit. I'll still be your guide. You will not suffer long. I've suffered for you. I love you with my life."
When Easter comes, I feel the triumph of the victory, but right along with that is the sadness of the loss.
I think about the confusion Jesus's friends and family must have felt. None of them had expected the story to end this way. And it must have taken a while to sort out that it was also a beginning and a very important one.
Being with him, even for a moment, would have been wonderful. But then he left again. They wouldn't have understood yet what it meant to be with them in spirit.
So, I am an odd duck, I know, to relive grief every year along with the glory of his victory, but I do.
And I understand the bigger picture. I'm so grateful that he did leave, because now I can know him in spirit. And so can you.
But I want to say that it's also okay to miss him. To wish you could hug him. Or sit at his feet the way and have dinner with him, the way Mary and Martha did.
This Easter ending of the story foreshadows the one we all long for, the time still to come when we will be with Jesus and see him with our own eyes.
Happy Easter!
Love, Jeanine
I would like to say, just before I leave you, I'll be back some day. And with me I will take you. So do not be afraid. Only watch and pray. And wait for my return. ... I'll prepare a place where we can live together. And we'll be face to face. And share our new forever. ... Please know that I love you, I'll stay by your side. If only now in spirit, I'll still be your guide...
- Bryan Duncan, Love You With My Life
This year, my approach to Lent was slightly different.
Less passive & more slow faith contemplative. Instead of just reading through a passage or devotional, I talked about it during my quiet time. I prayed it during my quiet time.
And I jumped into the story to get a closer view. As a result, the stories seemed more true & in an even deeper way than they usually do. They became more real to me in those moments.
The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances. -Robert Flatt
5 Things I Learned During Lent this Year
(1) God is my God & I am his people.
When you personalize what you're reading in those Bible verses and passages, it almost feels like a story written just for you.
This year, I let go of a lot of the self-imposed rules about my faith - what I should be thinking as I read, what I'm supposed to get out of a passage, how a quiet time is supposed to go, whether or not my faith or beliefs are good enough. And I just dove in without the baggage.
Each time, I let go and begin again, it's at a deeper level. And my faith morphs into something a lot more God+Jeanine and a lot less this-is-what-it-should-look-and-feel-like.
(2) The one who knows us is with us.
Though you might feel like you've been dropped off alone in the middle of a never-ending story that isn't going your way, God is right there with you in it, caring about exactly what you're going through, in a way that you might not be aware of at the time.
If you're grieving, he's grieving with you. He knows that ultimately, you're going to be okay, but he also loves you & understands exactly what you're feeling. And what was even more important about this idea is the following...
(3) Feelings are normal.
The Lazarus story was my favorite this year. And one thing that really stood out to me was that Mary and Martha both understood clearly who Jesus was and what he was capable of, but still cried as they talked to him about losing their brother.
But not only did Jesus not chide them for being upset when they knew he could ask anything and God would grant it - that might be a slight paraphrase - he cried with them.
So, trusting him does not mean you can't be upset when things go wrong. Feelings are allowed.
(4) No matter what, God wants to use you.
It really stood out to me this year that Jesus sent out his disciples to do the same healing work he did. He loved them tenderly, and often seemed to be training them to continue being there for people after he was gone.
But these same disciples were often so clueless that half the time, they didn't seem to get who Jesus, why he was with them, or what was actually going on at the time. And sometimes, I could totally understand that because Jesus said some confusing things.
But they were still the ones he told his secrets to and he chose them, again and again, to be with him, to learn from him and to do the work he called them to do.
They were helpful in spite of themselves. And so are we.
(5) God is like Jesus.
I am grateful for all of the Lent and Easter stories because of what I learn and remember about what God is like. The tenderness, the radical acceptance, the healing, the friendship, the calling, the rescues and the miracles.
That's the God I walk with every day, my hand in his.
Knowing him and holding his hand - that's what Easter means to me this year.
What Does Easter Mean to You?
Renewal. Rebirth. New Beginnings. Hope. Restoration. Resurrection.
There are so many words that surface during this season as people write and speak about anticipating spring and Easter. What does this time of year mean for you, or in your life?
Here are a few journal prompts you can use during your next morning quiet time...
(1) How did your relationship with God or your faith grow during this season of Lent?
(2) Did you get any new insights on familiar Bible verses or passages?
(3) What does Easter mean to you this year?
Wishing you an Easter filled with meaning, or a spring filled with the possibility of renewal, or whatever you celebrate that you dive deep into its energy.
Love, Jeanine
What were Sundays like when you were growing up?
We'd go to church and then, sometimes go out to eat after the service. But once we got home, my mom would do the laundry. I can still hear the sound of Neil Diamond's "Soolaimon," sometimes also sung or hummed by my mom, in concert with the sound of the washing machine. I'd read with the music as a backdrop, sometimes singing along.
Yesterday, in part one of this two-part series on creating a sabbath lifestyle, I talked about how the book, Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity, inspired me to make changes toward creating a slower, sabbath lifestyle.
I described how doing so has changed my morning and evening routines. It's also changing my experience on Sundays.
But doing so in good ways, that make my days better. As I mentioned yesterday, it's a slow lifestyle, and her book is actually a slow lifestyle book.
Slow living always means taking more time to savor life, in addition to the Sabbath rest this lifestyle generates.
The heart of honoring the Sabbath happens on the day you choose each week, which for me, is Sunday. That is the shift I am tweaking even more than the other days of the week, toward rest.
Do you have a day of rest on the weekend?
“Come with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
- Mark 6:31 (NIV)
Shifting the Way You See Yourself
Sabbath Simplicity can become a lifestyle that helps you uncover your true self & keeps you from defining yourself in misleading ways.
In the book I've quoted above, the author makes the point that giving ourselves a Sabbath and spending time with God will infuse that day with love that has nothing to do with accomplishments or possessions.
She says that we sometimes see ourselves in terms of what we own or think we need to own. Or define ourselves in terms of what we have accomplished or failed to accomplish.
Taking a break from shopping and working breaks that spell and may make it easier to see ourselves the way God does.
Applied to myself, it means that when I choose this lifestyle, I become the person who loves Hallmark movies, and laughing with her son. Or the person who gets lost in a novel and returns to awareness to find that the light in the room changed as afternoon headed for evening.
Life, in those moments, becomes quiet times, and cups of tea. Family time and time with friends.
How to Create Sabbath Simplicity in Your Life
I suggest starting with creating moments of rest in your day. And then, you can move toward changing what you do on the weekends.
Try it right now: take several deep breaths in a row, before continuing to read.
Mentally let go of any stress you have been feeling. Stretch if you need to and then, take another deep breath or two.
Take a moment to imagine what’s next for you, in your day. Imagine it going smoothly and well before returning to what you are doing now.
Could you find a way to take a break like this several times a day?
The next step might be to create an hour’s rest in your evening that does not include multitasking. Time with family, time with your spouse, or time just for you. At the end of that time, imagine restful sleep that night, and a peaceful day the next day.
And finally, how might you create more Sabbath rest during your weekend, each week? What shifts would you have to make?
As this post comes to an end, I encourage you to continue thinking about your need for rest and how you might meet it.
A Gift for You
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To access Sabbath Hygge: 4 Ways to Use Hygge to Create Deeper Rest, other slow living lifestyle inspiration, and the rest of my lifestyle library, click the highlighted link.
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What are your thoughts about making time for rest?
Do you create moments of rest each day? And a weekly time of rest? If you don’t, what could you shift in order to do so?
See you next time!
Love, Jeanine
Just like my faith book posts, today's post and the part-two post, tomorrow, began with reading a book I wanted to share. But then, I realized that I wanted to share more than I normally would about the impact the book has had on me, and the decisions I am making as a result. Keep reading, and I'll tell you why.
When I first downloaded the book, Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity, I really just wanted some encouragement to rest on Sundays. With my chronic illness, I am sometimes sick for long periods of time, and I find that when I don’t make it to church, it’s all too easy to make it just another day to work from home.
Reading the book did encourage me that Sunday needs to be a day of rest.
But then, the idea of sabbath simplicity as a slow living lifestyle began to call my name. And this slow lifestyle book was suggesting a lot more rest than I was getting at the time.
Was I finally ready to hear the common refrain my life kept trying to sound about how I needed to rest much more than I normally did?
It began to seem like the calling that it was. And finally, I started seriously thinking about how I could do it. How I could make it work.
And I found that it does work. Maybe it would work for you, too?
For women of faith, the sabbath simplicity lifestyle merits a closer look...
Reading the book did encourage me that Sunday needs to be a day of rest.
But then, the idea of sabbath simplicity as a slow living lifestyle began to call my name. And this slow lifestyle book was suggesting a lot more rest than I was getting at the time.
Was I finally ready to hear the common refrain my life kept trying to sound about how I needed to rest much more than I normally did?
It began to seem like the calling that it was. And finally, I started seriously thinking about how I could do it. How I could make it work.
And I found that it does work. Maybe it would work for you, too?
For women of faith, the sabbath simplicity lifestyle merits a closer look...
...you need only to be still. I know how weary you are…You have been struggling to just to keep your head above water, and your strength is low. I am calling you to rest in Me. - Jesus Today, by Sarah Young & Exodus 14:14
What is Sabbath Simplicity?
Sabbath simplicity is creating a slow living lifestyle around honoring the Sabbath. But not just on one day of the week.
Sabbath simplicity can begin with honoring the Sabbath once a week, but it also means gradually beginning to honor that rhythm every day. So, your deepest extended rest would begin on the weekend, but your daily rest can begin every evening with dinner and family.
We need moments of rest throughout the day, where we give our minds and bodies a chance to push the reset button. Creating a Sabbath Simplicity lifestyle will give you those moments.
My Own Plan for Sabbath Simplicity
Though I still need to shift toward a better weekly Sabbath rest, I am benefiting already from adopting the Sabbath Simplicity lifestyle during the week.
I start each day with a morning quiet time routine that includes reading the Bible, prayer and other inspirational reading. Which means my day begins with rest.
I work from home, but even when work is calling me to jump in and get started, my days go better if I have a morning quiet time first.
“If you are the type to keep running all the time, perhaps the first step on your Sabbath Simplicity journey is to begin to see the evening as a time to take a small rest, to reconnect relationally, to stop.”
- Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity
My after-dinner evening routine brings me rest, again. Though I sometimes do, my goal is to shift away from getting back to work after dinner and toward reading, watching something on TV, and hanging out with my son, instead.
I also pause, throughout the day, instead of rushing from one activity to the next. That pause seems to be lessening my stress by letting me sort of catch up to myself before going on to the next thing.
What would a Sabbath shift be like for you?
Tomorrow, we’ll talk more about this idea of creating a lifestyle around honoring the Sabbath. And I’ll share some other thoughts from the book that inspired me.
Meanwhile, download my new, free slow living eBook.
See you then!
Love, Jeanine
Our life with God is meant to have a rhythm, a cadence.
-Keri Wyatt Kent, Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity
The Slow Living Series
This post is part of a slow living series that can help you get cozy with the slow living lifestyle & finally, conquer mornings.
Here are the other posts in the series ...
The Slow Living Lifestyle and Philosophy
How Do You Want Your Mornings to Feel?
Tea and Meditation: Tea Ritual Ideas
The Slow Morning Solution for Night Owls
To download all of the slow living posts in a free printable pdf & bonus getting started checklist, plus extra bonus information about slow living for families, go to The Slow Living Series.
Finding Our Own Pace & Cadence
In this post, I want to take the slow living lifestyle philosophy and apply it to our life of faith and our relationship with God.
I believe that we are meant to learn from Jesus, how to find our own rhythm of living our lives and pausing to rest.
How to act and then, rest. How to serve and then, pause. Just like he did.
But what sometimes comes up for women as we think about slowing life down and taking time to pause and rest is this fear that we won't do enough (or be enough). We often define ourselves by how busy we are, by everything we are trying to accomplish.
As Christian women, we are called away from defining ourselves in any way that is not ultimately about God. And His is the voice that should inform how we spend our time.
When we strip away every circumstantial identity — writer, mother, wife — we are left with the only identity that can never be in question: I am a woman of God. When we define ourselves as women and men of God, ...our worth is no longer in question. - Erin Loechner, Chasing Slow
We must learn the rhythm that God has wired into us and to begin, we must pause. - Keri Wyatt Kent
The most important reason to pause, and to shift into a slow living lifestyle is to make sure that we slow down long enough and regularly enough not to miss God's voice.
That still, small voice is most easily heard when our hearts, minds and bodies are quiet. It's much harder to hear those whispers above the noise of our busy lives.
In my own life, when I was too busy, I was missing something. And we need God's wisdom too much to take a chance on missing it.
I love the way church sermons can sound like they were written for us. But that's not the same as the voice we hear in our own quiet times, speaking softly just to us, telling us exactly what we need right in that moment.
But God's voice is available all the time - not just during those moments when we spend time dedicated to Him.
In order to hear it, we can't do one thing while thinking about another. We can't live half in and half out of each moment, already mentally headed for the next thing.
That be here, now thing is for all of us. And it's imperative, because we have a connection with God to protect. An openness to hearing what we need to hear and to being shown what we might be missing.
That still, small voice is most easily heard when our hearts, minds and bodies are quiet. It's much harder to hear those whispers above the noise of our busy lives.
In my own life, when I was too busy, I was missing something. And we need God's wisdom too much to take a chance on missing it.
I love the way church sermons can sound like they were written for us. But that's not the same as the voice we hear in our own quiet times, speaking softly just to us, telling us exactly what we need right in that moment.
But God's voice is available all the time - not just during those moments when we spend time dedicated to Him.
In order to hear it, we can't do one thing while thinking about another. We can't live half in and half out of each moment, already mentally headed for the next thing.
That be here, now thing is for all of us. And it's imperative, because we have a connection with God to protect. An openness to hearing what we need to hear and to being shown what we might be missing.
3 Ways to Shift into a Slow Living,
Listening Connection with God
(1) Unhurried Quiet Times: in our quiet times with God, we can start our days letting God lavish us with His love for us (1 John 1:3) and then, we can lavish with love each part of our day, one thing at a time.
Bring your journal, so you can take notes. Write down the thoughts and insights and guidance you receive, and from time to time, go back to re-read it, to see how they are being woven into a story. And to make sure you are seeing the bigger picture.
(2) The Pause in Between: after fully engaging with each new moment of our day, we can pause. Refill, pour out, pause. Then, repeat, letting go as you pause, before moving on to the next thing.
The idea that we should rush, rush rush and hurry up to get there did not come from God, and it's hurting us. Slow living offers us a chance to honor the way God made us and slow down long enough to listen carefully to hear His specific call around developing our own pace.
Start with your morning quiet time routine. An upcoming post today will say more about the concept of slow mornings, but not address quiet times specifically.
How can you create a morning quiet time routine that is slow and unhurried, and gives you plenty of time to hang out with God? Make sure to give yourself enough time and freedom in your quiet times.
(3) Taking Time to Rest on the Sabbath: take a look at how you spend your Sabbath day. It's so easy to use it as a day to finish our chores, or get more done.
Do you use it to rest? That's our calling.
My blog posts tomorrow and the following day with be about creating Sabbath simplicity, which is a way of honoring the call to rest fully on the Sabbath.
When you can create a lifestyle that both honors the Sabbath and gives you moments to pause throughout the day (including your time with God), you will be honoring God's call to rest and leaning into your own God-made pace and rhythm.
What's the first change you feel called to make? Let me know in a comment.
See you next time!
Love, Jeanine
Slow faith is faith that develops over time spent in God's presence (Isaiah 41:10). It's a felt sense of who God is, along with the experience that backs it up.
It is dedicating time to sit at the feet of Jesus, the way Mary did (Luke 10:39), so that you can develop her faith and learn about him.
Slow faith is about giving yourself Sabbath rest and slowing life down (Matthew 28), so there's plenty of space for your morning quiet time routine and for whispered wisdom from God when your mind and heart are open to hear it.
It's trusting that God will lead you down the path made for you (Psalm 16), without the rush to get there yesterday. It's resting in hope as we continue down that path, following him.
Slow faith is the willingness to get cozy and quiet, and listen for that still, small voice while you spend time delighting in God's presence and he delights in yours (Psalm 16).
It's giving God your doubts (Mark 9:24) and being willing to wait to know the answers, because you've decided to trust God no matter what. And you know there's time.
Slow faith is filling yourself up with God's love (John 13) because there's nothing you'd rather do and no place you'd rather be.
This is what slow faith means to me. It's the kind I want most.
Read These Blog Posts for More Slow Faith
In yesterday's post, I compared Lazarus to Wesley in The Princess Bride, and made the point that even when life hands you its worst, and it looks like things are not ending well, you can trust that God is still writing your story. The real ending is still to come and may be just around the corner.
Today, let's take a look at the next part of the story, when Mary catches us to Jesus and he sees her grief...
Martha went back & called her sister Mary, and told her privately, "The Teacher is here and is calling for you." And when she heard it, she got up quickly and went to him...The Jews who with her in the house... followed her...When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she knelt at his feet and said to him, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. He said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to him, "Lord. come and see." Jesus began to weep. - John 11: 28-44
Mary's Faith and Jesus's Love & Grief
In this passage, we see several things happening...
(1) Because she knew him well, Mary - and Martha, in yesterday's passage - knew that Jesus could have prevented her brother from dying. She doesn't say she wished he had been able, she is convinced. She knows without doubt.
(2) Jesus, who loves Mary, is moved by her grief and the grief of the Jews who came with her. Not only does he empathize, he begins to grieve, too.
(3) When they offer to show Jesus where his friend, Lazarus, has been laid, Jesus begins to grieve even more, and weeps because of it.
Journal Prompts for Your Morning Quiet Time: Becoming Mary
Slow faith idea: during your next morning quiet time, settle in with a cup of tea and grab your journal. Use these journal prompts to grow your faith.
In this passage, Mary demonstrates a deep and powerful faith in and tender, loving relationship with Jesus. They are friends, and we see their close connection.
As you connect with Jesus each day, he wants that same deep and loving friendship with you, loves you just as tenderly and you can trust that he is there for you when you are hurt, troubled or grieving.
This story, in which Jesus shows us what God is like, demonstrates that God grieves with you. Even when He knows the good ending He has planned for your story.
So here are the journal prompts to take with you into your quiet time with God...
(1) What is on your heart right now that you wish would change or come to an end? Is life handing you anything that grieves or frustrates you?
(2) What would it mean in your life to think of God still writing your story, planning a powerfully good ending you just can't yet see?
(3) How does it feel to know that God empathizes with everything you are feeling about your situation, and grieves with you, even though He knows the resolution is coming?
(4) Mary had full faith that Jesus would have been able to save her brother's life and heal him. How can you have Mary's faith in your situation?
(5) We know that Mary spent time with Jesus, developing a close relationship with him. Are you spending enough quiet time with God?
More Resources for Developing Mary's Faith
Next month's JeanineLetter (my free newsletter) will be about how to develop Mary's faith by creating an adoration quiet time. And there are other quiet time resources already in the lifestyle library.
Join us by clicking on one of the highlighted links in the paragraph above. It's free, and I'd love to have you.
Wishing you Mary's faith in a sometimes doubt-filled world.
Love, Jeanine
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Jeanine
Spiritual self-care healing coach
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